Thoughts...

Thoughts. Welcome thoughts? Or just thoughts?

Being a thought daughter is not for the weak. Every evening spent staring at the ceiling, pondering over what matters or what doesn’t, tends to take a toll on my waking mind. Not just my waking mind. These thoughts follow me into the hollow of the night, leaving a paper trail of questions, misremembering and confusion.

Why then do I endlessly find myself in a myriad of tales, told by myself but also forgotten and therefore, merged with reality. If my reality is stained with concepts I have thought into belief, whose life am I living? Is it still my own?

I ramble. I always ramble. When was it known that thoughts, dreams and waking moments where to be separated? Does that ring true for me? It’s hard to say. When the first thought was had, and the first dream was dreamed, who came along to say that those two experiences were at all separate? Is a thought a dream and a dream a thought, just experienced in different physical states?

Why do I ask these anyway?

I think life is about meaning, but I also think we do not need to attach meaning to everything. Maybe there is meaning to that. Maybe there is meaning to answering these endless queries I have for myself, about myself and about everyone else.

I think too much, in my own opinion. I connect it to empathy. I empathize a lot with many people, which causes me to think too hard about them and their situations, which in turn causes me to form some sort of anxiety or sadness for them. Other times, I go down the rabbit hole of my own life happenings, recalling every cringey moment I have had in the past. Thoughts, at the end of the day, become my downfall.

I enjoy it sometimes though. I like my imagination, which seems to have no bounds. I like being able to think deeply about matters and formulate my own opinions. I want to share these opinions here, on my Substack. So maybe this is my introductory post. I want to share my thoughts, I have many, and putting them to words in a coherent way helps me process.

Welcome to my Substack.